thought overload

Posts tagged ‘nonsense’

The story of the Chicken Tooth

One day, FOTH (father of the house) decided he would play a joke on The Princess. I had chopped chicken for dinner and came across this bit of goodness-knows-what. Before I could discard it, FOTH picked it up and called for The Princess,

“Look what Mum found in the chicken. A chicken tooth.”

The Princess: No way Dad, you’re joking.

FOTH: No, seriously, it is. They are very rare you know.

The Princess: I don’t believe you.

FOTH: Go and ask Jim. He’ll tell you.

Jim is one of our neighbours and has a wicked sense of humour. He is forever telling the children jokes, engaging them with his magic tricks and giving them lateral thinking exercises. His magic, disappearing, elbow, coin trick is the best I have seen.

Off trots The Princess at 6pm, pyjama-clad and carefully holding, in the palm of her hand… the Chicken Tooth. Jim, of course, has no warning of what is unfolding but the FOTH has unquestionable confidence in Jim’s ability to keep the story going.

Meanwhile, I turn to my husband and give him the ‘evil chicken’ stare. I know this is not going to end well.

The Princess returns, flustered from running excitedly across the street. I feel terrible but say nothing under strict instructions from FOTH.

FOTH: So, what did Jim say?

The Princess: (breathless) OMG, he said that it’s really rare and might be worth some money.

FOTH:  Really? Hmmm. Wow.

The Princess: Oh, and he wants to know where you got the chicken because he wants to go there. Chicken Teeth are rare you know Dad.

FOTH: I told you.

The Princess: Where DID you get that chicken from?

FOTH  tells The Princess about the organic chicken sold at the butcher near the local supermarket and off she trots again across the road. This time she returns even more animated. It turns out that Jim’s wife has chimed in, asking if Jim can take her to the butcher right this minute. The Princess is sure she’s got something special now. I can’t bear it any more. I know I have to say something. I go to speak then,

“I’m going to sell this on Ebay, Mum can you take a photo for me?” and there she is, sitting at the computer trying to find out if there is anything else like what she has. Oh for the love of….

Me: Princess, Dad is joking. It’s not a chicken tooth. It’s just a gristly bit in the meat honey. Look, here are some more.

The Princess: Awwwwwwwww.  You’re bums. You’re all bums.

At least she said that with a smile.

The Chicken Tooth that was almost listed on Ebay

Opening up a can of worms and expanding the family language

French Kissin (song)

Image via Wikipedia

I love playing with my children. It is one of the true joys in my life and a never-ending source of entertainment that adds to our family language. Wait. What? Yes, our family language. I’ll explain.

Every family has a language of their own. It might be silly phrases that eventuate from, well, acting silly. It might consist of pet names that you have for each other. It might also be nonsense songs that are made up. Whatever it is, it is yours and no one outside the family would understand it because it just wouldn’t be the same if you had to explain it and the weird looks you would get trying to explain it, well, enough said.

My sisters once made up a song after their adventures with a flat tyre and trying to find one in a small country town on their way to visit me. It was to the tune of  ‘Old Susannah’. The chorus went a little like this:

‘Oh Daniella, now don’t you cry for me, for I come from Cooranbong with a spare tyre on my knee’. It had verse upon verse that they sang to me to explain their late arrival.

When Red was little, my sister made up a little verse for him which she would say to him every time she saw him…’I love you more… than the whole wide world…and back again!” he still remembers it at 19 along with the fact that he used to call the moon…’the mooin’. That we remind him of.

Our family language has evolved and developed from the jokes, songs, games, nonsense play and general goofing off that began when our young brood were old enough to talk. You need a well rounded sense of humour in this house to fit in and the children are no exception.

Bieber used to get called Chubba on account of his bright red, chubby cheeks as a baby and it just kind of stuck. My mother extended that to Chubba-lubba. The Princess was called Chloe goat legs when she was three. Her father somehow extended that to Goatisha and then to Tisha Boots, which she hated and demanded he stop. Dizzy Lizzy had that name when I met her father, bestowed upon her by her Uncle. She also got Lidbet which became Squidbet then just Squid for short. Red was always Joshie then Doshie (because Master 6 couldn’t say ‘j’) then Yoshie. He also got Joshskewer which was a take on the pronunciation of Joshua also bestowed upon him by the aforementioned Uncle. I have been known as The Dragon Lady but I ignore that one in the hopes that it will go away.

Last night, as I played with Master 6, we revisited some of the silly things that were said when he was a baby and a toddler. Some he even remembered. Some, I am still hanging on to which I know will change as he outgrows it. Like Tooty-Kissin’.

Tooty-Kissin’  has been a huge favourite with our children since they were babies and Master 6 is the last of the Tootie-Kissees. I would just grab his foot when he wasn’t looking and give it a great big kiss much to his delight and giggles. He tells me he is a big boy now and that I don’t have to tuck him in at night. I am not allowed to walk him to his classroom. Too old for that too. Apparently he is not too old for Tootie-Kissin’. We even have a song, made up to the tune of the Deborah Harry hit ‘French Kissin’ in the USA’. I sang that to him last night as we laughed and tickled each other, each trying to get the better of the other. Suddenly, Master 6 stopped. Where did you get that song from Mum? he asked. I told him about its origin and sang the line of the original. Ohhhhh, he said and laughed. Pause. What does French-kissing mean Mum?

Can of worms. Opened. I asked for that.

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You’ll never guess what I got you for Christmas

 

This  week, while searching for some gift-giving inspiration, I came across some useless, unusual, funny and just downright odd gifts for Christmas. We all have hard to please/got everything people in our lives which makes gift sourcing a challenge. I am here to help.  Here are a few of my finds:

Wasabi lip balm

For all the lip balm lovers out there. The gift that will ensure your recipient curses remembers you for this very  unusual gift. I wonder how hot it would be.

Indoor fireworks

For the person in your life that can’t seem to  do enough damage  get enough out of the outdoor variety. Would be useful for colder climates, on the days that limit your entertainment to the indoors. I would recommend  for homes with high ceilings and plenty of space? Actually, I don’t  recommend them at all (please see disclaimer).

Inflatable cactus

This would be a great gift for those that kill plants, can’t have plants or miss their desert home. The beauty of this gift is that it is maintenance -free and only requires plenty of hot air at the beginning. You inflate it then leave it.  I know lots of people like that.

Vomiting man pen holder

It’s practical, it’s funny and it’s pink. What’s not to love?

 

Puppy  Tweets

Come on! This is adorable and thoughtful. A gift for the pet -obsessed person in your life.  Who wouldn’t like to get a tweet from their dog?

 

Nose soap dispenser

Another practical, funny gift. I would give this gift with green- coloured liquid soap to maintain authenticity. A wonderful addition to any modern bathroom. Your gift will be the talking point of any Christmas party.

 

Cell-mate

It’s stylish, it’s practical and it’s safe. Hands -free talking for the cell phone enthusiast. Giving this gift says “I love you and I want you to be safe”. Not practical for texting – but you shouldn’t be texting and driving anyway!

 

The Knork

Sounds cool huh? It’s a  fork and knife in one. Give a set. I can see this becoming a popular verb as in “Have you knorked today?” or “I’d love to knork that piece of fruit”. Really, I can.

 

 

The Peekaru

I have to admit this kind of creeped me out at first but, I can see the practicalities of this gift. It’s stylish and useful for those cold days out with baby. It also provides a bonding experience between mother and child and will be the envy of all passers-by. A great gift for all the fashion conscious attention seekers living in cold climates.

 

The giggling Mona Lisa Pillow

A great gift for all the art lovers in your life. She giggles when you squeeze her. It ‘s soft, it’s clever and it’s ironic.

 

 

That wraps up (pardon the pun) this post for today. I hope I have given you some ideas for the hard to please person in your life. Merry Christmas.

 

Disclaimer: While every effort is made to ensure that accurate information is provided on this site, I make no representation about the quality of these products. In no event shall I be liable for loss of limbs, damage to property, loss of friendship, psychological or emotional problems that may arise from the provision of this information.

 

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The Jace Face

Our children can say the funniest things. They also have some great expressions. My all time favourite is The Jace Face.

When Master 6 was a toddler, he began to make the funniest, laugh-until-you-cry face I have ever seen. If you don’t believe me see below:

This wasn’t a face made in reaction to anything or out of frustration. He would just pull it out for any old reason. Oh, but this boy is smart. He soon cottoned on to the entertainment value that making this face would produce. Our cries of “Make the face” would soon be met with utter disdain and there was no way he was performing on demand for anybody.

A family of face-pullers we are. Yet, nothing compares to The Jace Face. Even today, at 6, he will just appear in a photo with a knee-dropping, chortle-inspiring unique face from his never-ending repertoire. My comedic child. Even with a face- full of food.

Mum, you’re a toolbox – thanks for the memories

Tonight,I decided not to do the dishes or the laundry and ignored my dirty floor. Instead, I played with my son.

I love the nonsense times, the uncontrollable giggling and the ridiculous words that ensue. Tonight was no different.

Nonsense

Master 6 is still young enough to enjoy the silly use of words, nonsense rhymes and a good old tickle session. I know that perhaps by this time next year, he will not. Sitting on the couch tonight, we were making up ridiculous names for our body parts. With each new expression came loud bursts of laughter and goofiness and some of it was him too. Our legs were labelled body-transporters, our arms became go-getters, our bellies were described as recycle bins and our bottoms are now affectionately called waste disposal units. Ears are earba speakers (he used to say earba when he was a toddler, instead of ear) and eyes are radar readers. Utter silliness that probably doesn’t sound all that funny to you, dear readers but, to us, we were absolutely the next best thing in comedy.

But wait. Master 6 points to his head and asks, “What do we call this Mum?”  “Hmmm”, I said “That is your toolbox”

“You’re a toolbox, Mum” he said to me with a huge grin and eyes fixated on mine. He may as well have told me I was the best Mum in the whole world because at that very moment, when my son told me I was a toolbox, he told me how much he loved me.

Playing with your children and making memories. That’s just about the finest moments parenting offers. When your children grow up they will not remember if the dishes were done on time. They will not remember how dirty the floor was some days and nor will they remember if laundry was sitting, waiting to be washed ( please, please don’t read Mother Guilt now). Children remember stories told,fun times, adventures taken, great memories made and they should all involve you. It is not too long before they get older and don’t want to be around you that much. They grow up and spend less time at home and they move out. Then they come back.

Kissing Mt Isa

Kids say the oddest things. Correction. My children say and do weird things.

My daughter’s latest is Kiss Mt Isa. I really am not game to ask The Princess what that means.

In fact I deliberately did not ask.

For those of you that are asking what or where is Mt Isa. Mt Isa is a mining town in Queensland, Australia

Yep. Still nothing. However, in their defence, I do remember saying ‘cheeky monkey’ over and over

to my mother when I was in Grade 4. The phrase became a sort of bastardised version ending up like ‘cheeny money’.

I know. We are an odd bunch.

Interestingly, the monkey theme does indeed run in the family with the eldest making chimp sounds with his

mates when they were 14. And smelly. And odd.

Have a 20 second hug today with someone you love…it releases Oxytocin the ‘cuddle drug’ and makes you feel good.

Just don’t kiss Mt Isa. I don’t know what that is yet.

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